ianrubbish

i feel too much again; i feel it once but it is all; self-interrogating, motionless and collapsing; how do i justify my severe mood swings from madly suicidal to completely disengaged and everywhere in, around, and between; how do i justify this weight i carry; how do i justify its tenure; how do i justify reading too in-depth on anyone, or justify how i leech onto any out-of-touch person that somehow mirrors me; i hear my escapes and the reasons behind them clashing together: intoxication, death, and the embarrassment of them both; i already know what will become of me post-high school: bloodshot eyes, constant retching, and the stille